Drug and Disease (Resounding Love I)

These words…

I write them desperately

Like a victim of psychosis

Praying;

Hoping to get a little release

The demons are chasing.

They are relentless ghosts.

The fantasies…

Dreams;

They plague me day and night.

Love…

Or perhaps not…

It is like a vine of steel

Binding and clasping,

Climbing and pulling down.

I cannot escape.

It will not surrender my sanity.

Oh what pain!

Joy forbidden

Ecstasy unbidden

Exaggeration, they say.

But my soul testifies

This wretchedness…

The thoughts of him…

He is my personal drug,

An unyielding addiction

My body, mind and soul

They crave endlessly.

Of what they cannot have,

Of what is too far…

He is a disease, attacking blindly

Eating away at the mind

Driving to the brink of sanity (or insanity)

I am filled with uncertainty

Gripping doubt of my own self…

Please;

Let me be free

To love and to hold,

To kiss and keep

To see his smile towards me

To be in his presence

And he, in mine.